All Senses Story Challenge

This is something I found on DeviantART where a person uses multiple senses to describe their character(s) so I did it with Savora. (In-universe, Jagur would never meet her, but I needed someone to see her from the outside.)

Here is the original. Note that the original included if the character was attractive, but I cut that one out since Jagur wouldn’t notice since he’s a different species.

Sight: Jagur watched the creature as she walked down the path he crouched beside. She had reddish fur with a corse look too it, especially on her short tail. Black stripes marked her body, and her long ears were almost fully black on the outside, with a lighter inner ear. They perked for any sound while her whiskers twitched, sensing the breeze. One ear had a notch taken out of it. Jagur couldn’t tell if she had a good sense of smell, but he’d positioned himself downwind of the game path. She stood nearly seven feet tall, making her quite a bit taller than Jagur, though the way she walked on her toes gave her a few extra inches. She had various scars along her arms and possibly more under her sleeveless shirt and skirt. Judging by her long, sharp claws, she could fight well. With arms that long, Jagur knew he didn’t want to get in a scrap with her. He pressed himself agains the ground behind the bush he’d picked. He’d just let her pass him by and wait for real prey, not something that was obviously intelligent.

Sound: She walked almost silently, an odd thing for a creature of her size. Jagur hadn’t even detected her until she’d come into his line of sight. He couldn’t hear her breathing, not from this distance, but the way her ears twitched worried him. With those big ears, she probably had good hearing. He tried to breath quietly.

Smell: The breeze shifted, blowing the creature’s scent to Jagur. He inhaled deeply, trying to get a better feel for what she was. He caught a dirt scent, giving him the hint she lived underground, which would explain why he’d never encountered any of her species before. She carried a root smell mixed in, and a slight roast meat scent. Omnivorous, most likely, not a full meat-eater like Lazakal. Didn’t mean she was someone he wanted to get into a tangle with, but now, she was too close for him to reveal himself without her getting surprised.

Action: The big alien’s ears twitched, swiveling Jagur’s way. He held perfectly still. He was downwind and hadn’t made a sound. She couldn’t have noticed him.
She sprang at Jagur, her movements fluid and faster than he’d have thought possible for something her size. He rolled onto his back as she crashed into him.

Touch: One of her huge hands slammed into Jagur’s chest, pinning him down. She put enough weight on him he could barely draw a breath. Luckily, her long claws, meant for digging, didn’t slice into his chest. Her other hand poised over him, claws upraised.

Taste: Without thinking, Jagur bit her arm, tasting blood and dirty fur.

Composure: She roared in pain and rage. Her free hand slammed into Jagur’s head. He fell back, half stunned. She shot to her feet and stood over him, her claws at the ready, ears flattened in anger.

Mentality: Wary of Jagur’s jaws, she didn’t attack. Not wanting to anger the huge creature, he stayed low, his head pounding. This wasn’t a fight he wanted. Even if he managed to win, he’d be too injured to hunt.

Emotion: She growled, a deep rumble from her chest, not quite like a Lazakal growl. Jagur met her eyes and noted they were wide. She was frightened, at least slightly. She’d attacked out of fear, not because she wanted to fight.

Posture: Even if she was afraid, her eyes were the only thing that betrayed it. She stood strongly, her left side facing toward Jagur. The only weakness he spotted was how she put more weight on her right side. She favored her left leg, perhaps from an old injury. Jagur doubted he’d be able to get her off-balance.

Alignment: Instead of attacking, she stood over him, watching, waiting for Jagur to make a move. She wasn’t going to finish him off, not if he didn’t show any aggression. Considering Jagur had only been hit, not clawed, she was holding back.

Jagur slowly rose to a crouch. He shook his pounding head.
The big alien watched him, the tension in her body telling him she still expected him to attack her.
“I was hunting animals, not you,” Jagur said. He licked a little bit of her blood from his long canines. “Sorry about biting you.”
She watched him, her stance relaxing just a little as he spoke.
Jagur stood and brushed leaves from his vest. “The name’s Jagur.”
She tipped her ears to him. “Savora,” she said. “I’m sorry. I heard you there and thought you were going to attack, so I figured I’d get you first.”
Jagur shrugged. “No hard feelings. I should have said something when I spotted you. Does that bite need treated? I could lick it.”
Savora looked at the wound. “I’ve had worse.”
Considering her speed, Jagur guessed she wasn’t lying. She’d had him down before he’d had a chance to fully react. This creature knew what she was doing.


About Jessi L. Roberts

I live and work on my family’s cattle ranch in eastern Montana. I have a flock of chickens, a hyper golden retriever, some cows, and a few horses. I enjoy fantasy and science fiction and my head is full of wild sci-fi story ideas, some involving apocalypses and others involving aliens. I have been published twice in Havok Magazine, an imprint of Splickity.
This entry was posted in My Stories, Spaceverse, Spaceverse, Writings and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to All Senses Story Challenge

  1. This is probably by far one of the most interesting ways of describing a character I have ever seen! I loved it!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s